Adult life has two phases, committed and single. When you are committed you are supposed to give in trust;obligated; engaged; industrious; ambitious; loyal. When you are single you are supposed to be not deceitful or artful; honest; sincere;alone; having no companion.
These are my observations on the people who are under the influence of either of the above two toxicants.
Being single as i mentioned in one of the earlier posts is a highly precarious situation. People who are single strive to get committed. And people who are committed try to move back to being single. So its all a matter of which side of the brain functions at which point of time.
Honestly the fun starts when that being is single and strives to get committed, the situation is sort of like this:
- Our highness looks with benevolence at those who are committed, he feels that they are losing the fun in their life by walking the line.
- All of a sudden he realises all the pretty girls are actually born with "boyfriends".
- He panics.
- He lists down the most possible placed where he could find single and ready to mingle PYT's.
- He frequents(as in every 3-4mins) all the social networking sites(what a royal name for something so stupidly lame).
- He wishes he had a single login to manage all the sites.
- He searches profiles age wise, country wise, state wise and social status wise(women obviously).
- It doesn't work.
- He looks around at work, the girl who sits across, the girl during the break next to the coffee machine(who incidentally linked eyes with him and smiled), that firang during lunch..anyone whose not a man :( .
- He changes his hairdo, he gets a new facial hair style(read moustache, beard).
- He buys a new wardrobe(all branded clothes).
- He starts working out(Ha..ha!!).
- He starts dancing classes(one of those intimate Latin dances,unluckily he's paired along with a guy).
- He asks his friends friends for intros.
- Depression sets in (all the above happens in a weeks time).
Why did god ever have to make Adam??Couldn't he just do the trick with eve? By the way, was God man?
So our man finally finds someone. He starts floating . He is all smiles all the time(would beat Aishwarya Rai's too).Monthly mobile bills reach an all time record, sending the mobile companies on a big fraud management exercise, gifts get exchanged, his EMI's increases(credit card companies are happy), he dreams of a fine wedding,yumm..wonderful food,he remembers all the discarded old romantic songs and loads his mobile/pod with them,everything happy..happy..happy!!
Then funny things happen, as a wise man(me,of course) said a long time back- it takes a life time to understand a woman and by the time you do, you are dead.
He just found out the meaning of chaos theory(long live my B.Sc in Physics http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_theory). Unpredictability is best explained in women. Now its time to exterminate an organism that has become to live out of him(Good ol 10th standard Biology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasite).
Now the sequence of extermination progresses like:
- Irritate the women, works like a charm all the time, every time.
- Do just what she doen'nt like, works like voodoo magic.
- Cut calls majorly, or make too many calls and pressurise to talk at weird hours and weird situations.
- Talk about old relationships.
- Tell them what to do.
- Ask them to meet you evry day at 10 in the night.
So while i mention about 15 points for trying, i would do with about 6 for extermination. Why so? Women are so darn impatient!! Yo baby, i just love them for that. It makes our life so eeeeeeaaaaaassssyyyyy.....
Thats about it..chow..chow!!
