Of being committed and single....

Disclaimer:The below facts are purely based upon observation and not on any personal experiences :D(maybe biased towards men, but I'm no MCP)


Adult life has two phases, committed and single. When you are committed you are supposed to give in trust;obligated; engaged; industrious; ambitious; loyal. When you are single you are supposed to be not deceitful or artful; honest; sincere;alone; having no companion.


These are my observations on the people who are under the influence of either of the above two toxicants.


Being single as i mentioned in one of the earlier posts is a highly precarious situation. People who are single strive to get committed. And people who are committed try to move back to being single. So its all a matter of which side of the brain functions at which point of time.


Honestly the fun starts when that being is single and strives to get committed, the situation is sort of like this:

• Our highness looks with benevolence at those who are committed, he feels that they are losing the fun in their life by walking the line.
• All of a sudden he realises all the pretty girls are actually born with "boyfriends".
• He panics.
• He lists down the most possible placed where he could find single and ready to mingle PYT's.
• He frequents(as in every 3-4mins) all the social networking sites(what a royal name for something so stupidly lame).
• He wishes he had a single login to manage all the sites.
• He searches profiles age wise, country wise, state wise and social status wise(women obviously).
• It doesn't work.
• He looks around at work, the girl who sits across, the girl during the break next to the coffee machine(who incidentally linked eyes with him and smiled), that firang during lunch..anyone whose not a man :( .
• He changes his hairdo, he gets a new facial hair style(read moustache, beard).
• He buys a new wardrobe(all branded clothes).
• He starts working out(Ha..ha!!).
• He starts dancing classes(one of those intimate Latin dances,unluckily he's paired along with a guy).
• He asks his friends friends for intros.
• Depression sets in (all the above happens in a weeks time).

Why did god ever have to make Adam??Couldn't he just do the trick with eve? By the way, was God man?

So our man finally finds someone. He starts floating . He is all smiles all the time(would beat Aishwarya Rai's too).Monthly mobile bills reach an all time record, sending the mobile companies on a big fraud management exercise, gifts get exchanged, his EMI's increases(credit card companies are happy), he dreams of a fine wedding,yumm..wonderful food,he remembers all the discarded old romantic songs and loads his mobile/pod with them,everything happy..happy..happy!!

Then funny things happen, as a wise man(me,of course) said a long time back- it takes a life time to understand a woman and by the time you do, you are dead.

He just found out the meaning of chaos theory(long live my B.Sc in Physics http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_theory). Unpredictability is best explained in women. Now its time to exterminate an organism that has become to live out of him(Good ol 10th standard Biology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasite).

Now the sequence of extermination progresses like:

• Irritate the women, works like a charm all the time, every time.
• Do just what she doen'nt like, works like voodoo magic.
• Cut calls majorly, or make too many calls and pressurise to talk at weird hours and weird situations.
• Talk about old relationships.
• Tell them what to do.
• Ask them to meet you evry day at 10 in the night.

So while i mention about 15 points for trying, i would do with about 6 for extermination. Why so? Women are so darn impatient!! Yo baby, i just love them for that. It makes our life so eeeeeeaaaaaassssyyyyy.....

Thats about it..chow..chow!!

Gimme a title

Im a silly guy
In this big wide world
Giving Emotion and love, to the fairy untold
Asking forgiveness, in all actions unknown
The light at the end, is a hard uphill jog

There is the fairy with her flowing tresses
Big brown eyes and kisses that caress
But love alas is still void, as her emotion
is hard as stone, tough to dissolve

What I am is as true as the commandments
A man searching for the oasis
Let me be, and let me show
What it is to love, and to be loved

The silly guy isn’t silly after all
To be emotional isn’t a sin at all

Of Friends and Girlfriends..

Guess i do have lots of time today or is it the Delhi factor??

Anyways...i have had my share of friends,some fantastic,some so..so,some i miss,many i don't,some i don' even bother about(then why are they friends?),some who are so similar that you don't even need to make any attempt to discover them( :-] ), some who you wish you got close but they never let you get there and few who you just can't tear me away from.

I do have a guilt that most of them are of the opposite gender(8:2 ratio...tsk..tsk)(or maybe its just so that people don't call me you know what).So what is a friend??

Its tough to define the word friend.We generally do make or have friends for different reasons.One who may just be a lending hand,one who you may just talk your heart out all the time,one who you would listen to all the time,one who you use just for shopping, one for gossip etc etc.

My idea of a friend is a person who stays with you, through rain and shine,who doesnt expect anything from you in return for anything that he/she may do for you,who is not you soul mate but comes somewhere close to that.A person who you neednt take any effort to know about,coz it just doesnt matter as you could just accept them like that.A person who wudnt ask you why you didnt call them or talk to them when you find someone special in your life after being as thick as blood for a long time.A person whose shoulders who you can always use when the someone special isnt there any longer.

I have had some fantastic friends and still have some fantasic ones.Probably the current set of friends with whom im in constant touch are the closest i have ever got( and yes more the girls the merrier rules apply here too).

Now we come to the next,a little bit more critical part of girl friend(a word that i have come to hate along with its male form).I think its probably the correct time to write about it(as there is a change in my life,a happy..very happy change,so wonderful that you are so lucky to be alive,thank you,a million times raised to the power of 'n' raised to 'i',shall explain later).

All the above statements remain true,but i shall add some more on what makes this relationship more special.You feel content,dont know why all,but you do feel so content in life,the person makes you privileged,you feel whatever you give to someone when returned in the so most small ways makes giving a worthwhile effort doing again and again.You now have a purpose,a goal to not be care-free.You are going to make a lot of new relatives[;)].

Maybe there are more things to add to this,but to me i think this probably gives an overall picture.

Mucho Gracias everyone..my lifes wonderful.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams...

I dream and I dream, to do and to not

Of cool wind in summer and warm sunshine in winter

Of a happy land where there are no poor

Of relationships that live ever

And for kids who cry never

There is no love without pain; there is no pain in love

And no life if you are not loved

There is pleasure in giving without getting

Alas, sad that humans are so forgetting

I dreamt once of a family; one that is mine

Love all around, fairies in tow

A cute kid and a caring partner

Now that dream is long forgotten

I have moved stones for the one I loved

Walked on thorns to save her the pain

Blood, sweat and tears

I have lost more than I have gained

Still I rise, dreaming for a better tomorrow

Praying that I give more to the one that follows

Even if hurt, even if broken

There is always hope

This is my boulevard of broken dreams

Ok there has been no plagiarism involved in this,excluding the title which if i remember rightly is a song of Green Day.If anyone finds it similar to something else,then its 2 people thinking in the same way

Why men cry & women don't care a damn...

I observe people well, don’t ask me how, but it’s just a god given talent that I have. I know when two people are in love, when two people are fighting, when people are confused, when people are angry, I just have this innocuous ability to detect a minor change in the tone of a person that is different from normal & relate it to an emotion.The other day I saw a couple in the office cafeteria, a pretty strange sight, a guy crying & the girl consoling him. This holy sight is not something you see everyday.Men are pretty vicious creatures. Crying to them is an act of emotional subjugation of their women. It’s their version of emotional blackmail. Say for example you say "my parents have started looking out for a guy for me”, he says "I need more time”, you say "how much longer?” he does this. One tear from the corner of the left eye, which would be the most melodramatic half tears you would ever see in your life, now he says "you know where I’m now. What would I speak to your parents? You know you are the only one I have in my life (as if he was born orphan!!".then comes the next half tear from the right eye, now the girl is sinked.she brings him closer to her chest & the guy very merrily smiles to himself.hmm...My dear ladies, its time you stopped trusting these croc tears. You are & will be much stronger than any man. I mean you just have to look at a man & he knows what you want & does it. See that’s extra sensory perception. I mean women hardly need to lift a limb to get things done.Ok to be fair to my brothers, it’s sort of true that men are very emotional. The hard as hell outlook to the world is just a mask. Most, that is 99.9999% men are weak inside. So women know this & take advantage of this. Aren’t they wise my dears? Women sometimes choose such guys too & when it gets too emotional they dump them, you know like that piece of trash that u segregate as recyclable & non & dump it in the green or red bin, men are the green ones. Recyclable you see...And yes break ups hurt men more; women seem to just move on faster. Probably they have too many distractions. Like that next recyclable guy waiting in the line, who looks like a mama's boy.Also men who dump women are weird jerks. I got to know a wonderfully pretty girl a week back. I mean "SHE IS WONDERFULY WOW”. And I couldn’t believe that some guy could actually dump her. The reason was his parents wouldn't accept it. I mean man, what all are you going to ask permission from your people for?? Aren’t you mature enough?? I mean mom can I pee in the morning?? Can I use these color undies today?? Go take a walk u dumb ass****.Lady he doesn't deserve you, I have hardly spoken to you for a day but my gut feels that you are different, special. To you I quote this

No More Tears
Barbra Streisand & Donna Summer
________

It's raining, it's pouring
my love life is boring me to tears,
after all these years

No sunshine, no moonlight,
no stardust, no sign of romance
we don't stand a chance

I've always dreamed I found the perfect lover
but he turned out to be like every other man
our love, our love

Raining (raining)
pouring (pouring)
there's nothing left for us here
and we won't waist another tear

If you've had enough,
don't put up with his stuff,
don't you do it
If you've had your fill,
get the check pay the bill,
you can do it

Tell him to just get out
nothing left to talk about
pack his raincoat show him out
just look him in the eyes and simple shout

Enough is enough is enough
I can't go on, I can't go on, no more no
enough is enough, is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now

Enough is enough

If you've reached the end,
don't pretend that is right
when it's over (It's over)
if the feeling is gone
don't think twice just move on
get it over (over, over)
tell him to just get out, say it clearly, spell it out

Enough is enough is enough
I can't go on, I can't go on, no more no
enough is enough is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now

Enough is enough

I've always dreamed to find the perfect lover,
but he turns out to be like every other man
our love (I had no choice from the start)
our love (I've gotta listen to my heart)
our love (tearing us apart)

Enough, is enough, is enough
I can't go on, I can't go on no more no
enough, is enough, is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now

Enough is enough

No more tears (no more tears)
no more tears (no more tears)
no more tears (no more tears)
no more tears (no more tears)
enough is enough is enough is enough is enough is enough
I've had it, you've had it, he's had it, we've had it
enough is enough is enough is enough is enough is enough
I've hat it, you've had it, he's had it, we've had it

I always dreamed I find the perfect lover
But he turned out to be like every other man

I had no choice from the start
I've gotta listen to my heart
tearing us apart

Enough is enough is enough
I can't go on, I can't go on, no more no
enough is enough is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now

Goodbye mister, goodbye, goodbye mister, goodbye sugar

It's raining, it's pouring
there's nothing left for us here
and we won't waist another tear

No more tears
is enough is enough is enough is enough
is enough is enough is enough is ENOUGH!!!

Go take on that recyclable guy & avenge that guy’s mistake. Some men folk are just not worthy of such amazing women. Some men are like dogs, they go "oh, I smell fresh stuff, what season is it?”. You now know why there are so many cross breeds.

How to make a woman happy!!

The million dollar question..here are the answers In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???

Well..

She's fading away
Away from this world
Drifting like a feather
She's not like the other girls
She lives in the clouds
She talks to the birds
Hopeless little one
She's not like the other girls I know

No more shame, she has felt too much pain, in her life
In her mind she's repeating the words
All the love you put out will return to you

The one i love..

Haven't slept in a week
My bed has become my coffin
Cannot breath, cannot speak
My head's like a bomb, still waiting
Take my heart and take my soul
I don't need them anymore

The one I love
Is striking me down on my knees
The one I love
Drowning me in my dreams
The one I love
Over and over again
Dragging me under

Hypnotized by the night
Silently rising beside me
Emptiness, Nothingness
Is burning a hole inside me
Take my faith and take my pride
I don't need them anymore

This bed has become my chapel of stone
A garden of darkness to where I'm thrown
So take my life, I don't need it anymore

Being Single..and loving it!!

In the adjective form single means :

• Not accompanied by another or others; solitary.
• Separate from others; individual and distinct.
• Honest; undisguised: a single adoration.
• Unmarried.
• Lacking a partner.
• Relating to the unmarried state: enjoys the single life.

And In the noun form :

• One that is separate and individual.
• An unmarried person.

In both forms it is utterly very depressing to know what it means.But the way i look at it,it has its advantages.For example :

• More freedom and independence
• More control over your time
• More control over your money
• Not having to tolerate another’s annoying habits
• No emotional roller coaster rides
• Ability to become aware of who you are and what u want to do
  

I bet every single married/un married/committed person will agree with me on the above points.Im not an advocate on being single for life.But its more enjoyable this way,atleast i can say this by looking at the far more unlucky souls who have crossed the barrier of being legitimate singletons.

I have a very close friend of mine who is a single mother.The kids not hers & iv never asked her how she got it.(She said dont ask,jus trust me!!).The kids so adorable and the family goes at lengths to support her.
I know what all she had gone thru to keep her,after all being single middle class south indian will subject you to so much prejudice.
Let me say one thing to her before i start of with the rest,iam proud of u,iv never seen some one as strong as u,im lucky that we got to know each other in odd circumstances and became such good friends.Ur what most women dream of becoming these days.

We constantly discuss about the +ves and -ves of being single and i always remind her to move out of that status.EOD we both get to have some more advantages of being single.Here goes:

• Flirt with every guy/girl that you want without apology.
• The constant feeling that you are being watched & adored by every other PYT's(this could be my misconception though).
• I emphasize on this,spend all the money that u have on urself,max to ur parents or friends.
• The unique feeling of being self content on doing everything without depending on others.

And as my "WISE"(she wanted me to mention this) sis-in-law said "I envy you your single-status travel experience...enjoy it while you can cos all too soon, you will be double, triple, etc","There is a certain charm to being single and carefree...gosh!".

But there is always a dull side to the brighter things,u cant get into discos/nightclubs(unless ur a girl,they get everything!!),suddenly you find urself being alone & have panic attacks(jus kiddn),you start envying the not so good looking guy with the wow so looking girl under his arms,u start observing people giving u 'that' strange look if u go to cinemas alone,killing time gets to be so painful,u spend magnanimously on every odd thing.
Who cares??its good to be single and eligible..cheers!!